What do you say to a ten year old when you have to explain that black lives matter? What do you say when he hears that there was another police shooting, or people died in a nightlcub? What do you tell your child when he asks why would someone do that and will they do it here?
I am going to tell you what I said.
I told Z that right now people are angry, and they are sad. And they are hurting. And that everyone matters. I told him that we should all be equals, but that is still a process that is unfolding and we can make a change by sending love to all of them and the entire world.
This morning he said to me that my friend who is a vet tech must be a little nervous. I asked him why, and he said "Because a vet killed those cops." I had to laugh at his innocence but then explained that a war veteran is different than a veterinarian. He then asked why a Veteran or anyone would kill someone? It made no sense to him. So on our drive to camp I explained that the people who protect us and others who serve our country often see the worst of the worst. Some go to war and live in a constant state of hyperawareness knowing that they really could be in life or death situations. They are willing to put themselves in situations most of us couldn't handle emotionally and then they come home. I told him that we may be driving and just see the trees and the beauty around us, but they may see where someone could potentially hide and leap out at them. We see the world very differently.
I did reading recently for someone who's spouse had committed suicide. He has PTSD and he wanted her to know what that physically felt like to him. He said that the body was not designed to have the stressors that he faced. And that it felt like fiberglass inside his body and soul, and that his body didn't know what to do with this foreign concept and tangible manifestation of emotional pain. So he said his body started creating scar tissue around each and every shard until his body no longer felt like his own. And that there is no way to explain that to anyone unless you are living with it. Even as I channeled his energy I could not imagine such an experienced.
Z and I only had a short drive to camp, so the conversation was pretty short and to the point. I told him that it's up to us to pray to fill us all with love. And that there is some reason all of this is bubbling up right now, and it's probably because it's time for us to shift. We're all part of it! You're here right now, right? Welcome aboard. Light yourself up and surround yourself with yellow or pink light. Or whatever feels best. Be mindful. Be aware. Be patient. And be diligent. Things are being forced to change and life may very well be uncomfortable as it does.
I reminded my boy that I am always here to protect him, and that if anything did happen to either of us I would wrap us up with the angels love. It brings tears to my eyes that this is a conversation I had with my ten year old boy, but it felt right. He and his generation are the stewards of our future, and I feel that although I have to honor his innocence and ability to simply be ten, I am also able to help plant a seed of hope and love within him.
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