Celebrate the dead? Yup. My mom was hit by a car and killed back in 2001. She was in a crosswalk and the glare of the sun blinded the driver. A month prior I had read a book by Sylvia Brown called the Other Side and Back that was all about our life purpose and death. But that's not the point of this post.
My mom used to take time for herself every morning. It meant I had to walk to school, even if it was raining. My mom used to go for a run almost every day that I can remember from middle school until she hurt her knee when i was in college. That meant I was the mom in her absence, but it prepared me for being a mom today. On rainy days she'd put us to bed and run around the house while blasting Donna Summer! I also remember going for a run with her when I was in middle school and we got a lot of honks from the trucks passing by. She mentiond that didn't happen when she jogged alone.
When I was in high school my mom took a workshop with Dale Carnagie. She learned all about visualization and being empowered. She started visualizing what she wanted. I remember her saying she was going to get her own white car. Turns out she did! I now know this is the law of attraction and this is something I totally belive in! She also used to go to a psychic named Virginia once or twice a year. One time I saw mom's planner and caught a glimpse of a few of the questions she was going to ask. I still wish I never did because as a child ignorance is bliss, but turns out when I as an adult I asked the same exact ones! Thanks Ma for letting me know it was alright to get some insight from a trusted source.
My mom was a good Irish Catholic who hated boiled dinners. She went to church and dragged us alone on Saturdays at 4pm. She loved the Ouija board but I will not touch it to this day even though I own two of them. My mom knew who was calling before caller ID and would call me in college whenever I was doing something I shouldn't be. She was "witchy" and I wish I could sit with her for just even 5 mintues to talk to her about my life right now.
But if I did, 5 minutes wouldn't be enough time and I'd be left wanting more. As it stands now, I can feel her around me. My son Z knows all about her and when he's a turd at bedtime his sleep machine turns off as soon as he climbs up to the top bunk. We both know it's my mom telling him to knock it off!
Ma, I miss you. I hear you, I feel you. I still miss you. Lately I've felt you stronger than ever and I am grateful for every sign you give me to let me know you're still around. Your posse in heaven has grown, and I feel them around me, too. Even as I type that my head gets tingly. Thank you for teaching me about the law of attraction. And for teaching me how to ski. I'm actually going with my love and Z tomorrow to celebrate your birthday tomorrow. I made Aunt Sal's chocolate mayonaise cake and am going to make your butter cream frosting. Remember how you used to make white cake with that? YUM. I'll be thinking of you with every bite Ma. I love you. And I miss you.