Have you ever caught yourself being a grown up? For some reason it just hit me. I'm a grown up, and for a second there I totally felt like I was just playing house. I opened the cabinets to find some Annie's mac and cheese, and realized all this stuff is mine. If I want to make cookies I have the ingredients to do so. I have a son. We have a house, pets, and a car. That I pay for. Like a grown up. What the heck??? When did all this happen?
Today is a marker day. My mom died 12 years ago today, and a I type this it was pretty much the exact time of day that I came home to the voicemail saying there'd been an accident. So it marks a time in my life. The day my mom died. That's a biggie.
I just put the mac and cheese in the boiling water and told Z I loved him more than anything. He's 7 and a half and I got the obligatory, "Uh huh" reply. I asked him if he knew how much I loved him. He said yes. I think he does, because I tell him all the time.
Now I'm the mom. I do the mom things. Pretty cool and so surreal at the same time.