Leaving Fear Behind
2016 is the year that I stake my claim to the life I am worthy of having. This is a life with love, joy, fun, silliness, abundance, financial security, friends, family, travel, connections (as in networking with kick ass people), and all that I need. Which may be more than what I just threw out there, in case the universe is going to hold me to this. I want everything spectacular and awesome! I don't mind working for it. I've done that my whole life. But this year I've already kicked fear to the curb (after thanking it for making me so clearly need the shift away from it) and things are happening.
The universe can be so witty, and it definitely gave me the chance to be sure I'm ready. Example one. My lovely neighbor has taken care of my driveway and plowed without charging me for a number of years. Since my son was young, actually, and I shot a chunk of ice through the kitchen window while snowblowing in the middle of the night. I am eternally grateful for that financial burden that was lifted from me. Well, party's over and this year I'm on my own. So my boyfriend fixed my snowblower and I got a few passes done after the first storm before it crapped out. My brother and his fiance came up and PJ replaced a belt and I'm back in business.
Example two. I went to turn on my ceiling fan when my brother was over and it wouldn't start. First reaction: panic. How the hell am I going to fix that? I need it to help circulate the heat from the woodstove. I mention to him that I'm going to have to do something about that, and he casually said, "Oh yeah. I didn't know how to turn it off so I stood on the couch and pulled the chain." Well no joke! I always use the dial on the wall! It wasn't broken at all! Example three. That night I was trying to wash my face before bed and the hot water coming out of the sink wasn't heating up as hot as it shoud have. I started to panic inside.... I thought, well, I'll have to deal with that in the morning. Turned off the hot faucet and guess what. I had the cold one running a full blast! My hot water works!
Why are these things so significant? For the past 7 or 8 years it's been scary knowing that I have been doing this on my own and my life and my sons was at stake. I couldn't afford enough firewood, so my house was usually just below 60 during the day and cooler at night. I had run out of propane for my hot water. Twice. And I vowed I'd never do that again. My car died and I didn't have the funds to fix it, but I finally screamed mercy and magical things started to happen. Why was it that it felt so good to fundraise for non profits and donate readings to others, but yet some part of me didn't feel worthy of receiving abundance? Am I jacking my prices through the roof? Not at all. Am I charging a fair rate? Yes.