On my drive to Porltand yesterday I thought back to where I learned to do everything for myself. There are a lot of examples, ranging from family dynamics to my goat like Capricorn stubborness. But there were times a child or young adult that I wished that someone had helped me.
I went to my high school guidance counselor to get information about colleges. She handed me that 1,000 page book that listed all the colleges in the US. That was NOT helpful. Then when my SAT scores weren't showing my the best of three attempts I made (happened to be the first one I took) I went to her for help. She dialed the 800 number and handed me the phone. I resolved it myself and figured out they had my social security number wrong. So pretty much she let me use her office. And so my independence was fostered.
I have been managing my business on my own. In the beginning I started it while I had another full time job! I was the one who bought my supplies, did my marketing, my website, my revenue/expenses, etc. Oh, did I mention that I was also divorced and with a little boy midweek? Yeah. If I can pull that off I can do anything.
And therein lies the problem. It's not about the fact that I CAN do it all. I don't WANT to do it all! Enter Ellen Ames. She's my new business partner and teaching me that I don't HAVE to do it all. I feel totally confident in her ability to support me and help me focus on what I love doing. Tomorrow we're going to get a new bank account for Enlightened Horizons. It will be in both of our names, since she's handling the billing and if I need something she can get it for me. WHAT? That brings a huge smile to my face. I didn't even have a joint checking account with my husband. Now he's an ex. Go figure.
I think I'm learning that it's good to be independent and confident, but that it really does take faith and trust and exhaustion to let your gates swing open and build a team to help you achieve your true potential.
Thank you to all of you who did help me in the beginning and now. I still know that even though I was the hamster on the wheel you were all the ones cheering me on. This hamster is going to bed.