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  • Sara Moore

Assertiveness

I subscribe to Simone Patrice's facebook page, and every week she posts an angel spread.  You pick the number card that feels right, ask a question, and the next day she reveals the meaning of them.  I picked number 5.  This is what the message was:

Assertiveness - Stand up for your beliefs and only say yes if you really want to. This week is the time to put forward your ideas and have that deep and meaningful discussion with that someone special. Think of this card as a spiritual kick up the backside that you need to get going. Assertive people are easy to get along with because you always know where you stand with them. Your current situation calls for you to speak your mind, speak the truth with love and let go of unhealthy old communication habits. Don't take action out of guilt. Key words: Assertive communication

Speaking the truth with love and letting go of old communication habits totally resonates with me.  Often times we feel guilted into doing something that doesn't feel right.  Why is that?  Maybe it's because of the fear of the consequences.  Or because you'd rather keep the peace.  Or maybe it's just easier. 

Today Z and I hiked up Black Cap mountain bright and early.  I was so excited to go for a hike with him and the dog, and I was beyond frustrated as soon as he started complaining.  Which was about 5 minutes into the hike.  And it continued for the remaining 30 to the top...  One of his comments was "I'd rather be stuck with dad at his work than hiking this stupid mountain."  He refused to walk any further at one point and planted his butt just below the summit.  I wanted him to see the summit and the views. I also couldn't understand why he'd stop so close to the tippity top!   He employed his assertiveness and flat out refused to move.  I am happy to say I didn't try to get him to budge by using the guilt technique.  That's not my style.  So I waited him out.  Then I let him know how important this was to me, and that I really wanted to share the moment with him.  We are so lucky to live in this amazing place and it's an awesome feeling to know you're alone on the top of a mountain!  And he finally decided to start moving again.

Be aware of how you are communicating.  Be aware of what you want.  And be clear when you ask for it.  And do it with love, faith, trust and honesty.  The picture below is of Z being assertive....  And the other is us at the summit. 

     

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