Yesterday was an odd day. I had an experience that didn't feel great, but didn't make me run away. I didn't know what to do with it. As I was falling asleep I sort of "took it out" of my head and held it, just to see what it looked and felt like. It felt like a very sharp edged cube made of glass or ice. It didn't feel warm, comfortable, friendly, or appropriate. And then I wondered "what the hell do I do with it now?" I put the cube down in front of me and zoomed my view out and backward, giving me a much broader perspective of everything in my life.
From this vantage point, I couldn't even see the angry little cube. All I saw was the big picture sort of hung on a huge wall in front of me. I was of a colorful scene that I couldn't identify, but when I zoomed in a bit I could tell that my life was made up of tiny little snapshots. If I zoomed in on one I'd see a moment in time but nothing else. There was no frame of reference because the snapshot isn't dynamic. It just "is" what it is. I backed up again and took in the whole picture again, and it was beautiful. Lots of colors with the details hidden within them.
Then I wanted to find that stupid little cube. (that shouldn't surprise you if you know that I poke bees nests....) Turns out it was really hard to find, which I found funny because just minutes earlier I really just wanted to smash it into little bits. But by the time it was part of my mosiac I could barely identify it as the new edition to the bottom row of what makes up ME. Stupid cube...... It had less power and it's part of my history now. I'm glad it's been added to the mix and it's jagged edges are now completely surrounded by better things. I may eat an ice cube today just to let it know that if I want to, I can take it, process that cube and spit it out. My choice. Not the cubes.
Take that cube.
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